LiFe iS Full oF SurpriSeS anD SaDDneSS

Haha!!

2007-09-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

Morning tiredness..

was taking LRT like usual when it almost came to a stop immediately. WOW!! luckily nobody fell but someone shouted Ouch!!.. when i turned a lady was holding her feet.. must be someone's heel stepped on her feet.. must be super painful..

yesterday was like hmm... make me angry?? not sure.. but this fren of mine said that im like a bitch, egoist and proud... hmm... till he condemn me like as if he is the great one... i cant stand it and shoot him all the bullets at him... i said watever u said to me reflects urself.. haha.. when i sms him tat sentence, he cant accept.... i was thinking all the while he talks about me, wat he thinks, and when i said that, he cant accept?? haha.. i think he is the person who is egoist... but watever.. tapi puas hati.. those who know me, will know.. mulut laser... haha...

but well, its everyone opinion... cant blame..

This is a Lovely story... Must read..

2007-09-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

******
One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but
even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled
up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still
sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to
help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look
safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold.
He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in
you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car
where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.'
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad
enough.
Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack,
skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the
tire.. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and
began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was
only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to
her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she
owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already
imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not
stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job
to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were
plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole
life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she
saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance
they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold
and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing
into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab
a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of
her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old
gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over
and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile,
one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The
lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she
never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady
wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger.
Then she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill.
The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but
the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time
the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be.
Then she noticed something written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You
don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me
out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is
what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to
serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she
got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how
much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was
going to be hard....

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to
her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything's
going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.'

********

Got it from a fren... Have a good day!!

Hmmm...

2007-09-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

Not much of updates... but just that im happy with things that is going on or supposed to be...

stressful last month but this month is going on smoothly...

Transformers...

2007-07-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

GREAT movie...

It was great.. did not regret watching it.. haha.. starting was very interesting.. i like when the helicopter changes to robot and how it kills the army and wipe out the base.. it is a WOW!!!

Then how the boy gets its car and how he discovers that his car is a robot.. The style thing of this car is when it clones another car.. and changes from an ugly to a beautiful car... i like that.. imagine if everything can change like that.. hmm.. will buy a cheapo car.. haha.. the interesting part is that the car can read ur mind... hmm.. so if ur sad or happy, the music will be happy... if u said something harsh to someone but dont mean it, the music will give that msg.. its rather cool.. haha..

ok.. next was how the robots fight each other... how it changes from a vehicle to a robot... then how they fight and save the cube to destroy it was a touching one... heart pounding one.. but when megatron(not sure how to spell it) dies, it was sudden..

overall i like the movie very much.. it was very cool and worth watching.. this week might be watching harry potter..

Hot Fuzz...

2007-07-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

The first time i heard about it is from my bf... he said that the movie should be good... so we went to watch on wednesday at 9.45pm... it was very late actually but he insisted on watching it... so we went to plaza to watch it... starting was boring but lots of info... then the story begins when a police officer went to a village as his hand was stabbed and the department can't accept him anymore...

It begins when everything in the village is not proper and it is not a police post or department... nobody is doing their job as a police.. he feels that it is not right and tried to change the system.. then there is a murder and everyone says that it is just some accident... until it happens right infront of him... he tried to tell his colleagues but none believed him... make it short... he tried to catch them by playing 'games' so that it looks like all that is just an accident... some of it is gore but very funny and interesting... should catch it...

Transformers will update next day.. bye.. take care..

Movies

2007-07-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

Been a while since my update... kind of sleepy so here is wat im gonna write... been watching a few movies.. pirates, hot fuzz and transformers...

hmmm.... went to shaw towers to watch pirates.. disappointed with my comp actually... cos they were to give the tix at a discounted price... so i applied twice.. one was myself and another was 2 tix.. so the person called to clarify and i told her that i wanted 2 tix... at last, i can only get 1 tix... i was so angry that i complained to my bf about this... i blared everything saying that i applied for 2 and she clarified but don understand why i get 1 tix.. so i have no choice but to buy it... hai... a big sigh..

so i told my fren that im not going as i wanted to get 2 tix... so she said that maybe her fren can buy the tix from me.. i was happy as at least i don feel bad.. so on saturday, went out.. to PS.. b4 reaching, my fren called me.. she told me that her fren did not want to buy the tix cos she got something on.. so we headed to Vivo.. hoping for seats... but then, theathers are full except midnight... and it was only 4pm at that time.. so went to shaw towers.. at last got 2 tix in the evening... we got 2 hours + - for the movie... went to have something light.. which in the end is something quite heavy.. went to Sofra... a turkish restaurant... the food is Ok.. but the meat is very delicious... the service is great... maybe cos they got nothing to do la.. it was empty at that time..

then the movie.. the seat is too far from the screen... but still nice.. its big like cathy but the atmosphere is different.. anyway the movie is not as interesting as part 2.. but still worth watching la.. then after movie, went to bugis.. had wanton noodles... long time since i ate there together with him... went home by bus... its a long journey.. reached home going eleven.. so tired but enjoyed myself..

as for the other 2 movies will be another day updating... sayo nara.. going lunch

New job.. have to get use to the environment

2007-05-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

first day at work... hmm.. got a nice seat.. desk.. and a very nice view.. i love it.. i can see ships, islands... and more.. can also see buildings.. so lucky.. on the 36th floor.. hmm.. but nothing much to do.. just sit and read notes..

second day was not much.. just filing and do some updates of the records..

third day was also not much.. its just going into the system, print out some records and filing, reading emails.. and the most important is getting my card activated.. haha.. last two days did not happen.. cant go toilet or our of the office.. kinda hard for me.. have to ask my fren to accompany me.. and have to meet her in the morning.. just to get in the room.. but now, its easier for me.. at least don need to ask for someone to accompany me..

the pp there is nice and they are willing to help.. feels comfortable and have to be mentally prepared for the loads of work coming..

the most important thing is....... my WEEKEND!!!!!!
get to at least plan out my weekend.. now nobody will disturb me on my off day.. though my off day is always taken up by my work, i feel that there is no life and there is no benefit for me.. especially those who are dedicated to the job.. hai.. such a waste to the company.. but nothing can be done now..

2007-04-30T00:47:00.000-07:00

To my fren who wants a reply

1. What time did you get up this morning?

2. Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

The Reaping & Jangan Pandang Belakang
4. What is your favorite TV show?

don have any.. lots actually

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?

nothing.. have not eaten yet

6. What is your middle name?

middle name??

7. What food do you dislike?

i don noe.. none i guess..

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?

I don buy CDs

9. What kind of car do you drive?

need license first

10. Favorite sandwich?

chicken..

11. What characteristic do you despise?

talk great about themselves

12. Favorite item of clothing?

no fav item yet..

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?round the world..

14. What color is your bathroom?

White Tiles and Gray floorings..

15. Favorite brand of clothing?

no specific brand..

16. Where would you retire to?

home of course.. other places need $$ and i have lots of places to go to..

17. What was your most recent memorable birthday?

cant remember..

18. Favorite sport to watch?

I don watch sports

19. Furthest place you are sending this?

how far can I send?

20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?

don noe.. no idea

21. Person you expect to send it back first?

no idea.. everybody is busy

22. Favorite saying?

no specific word

23. When is your birthday?

may

24. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Morning

25. What is your shoe size?
6

26. Pets?
No pets at the moment.. all died.. haha

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
It may be normal to others

28. What did you want to become when you were little?
Business woman… maybe.. but I drop it at the moment

29. How are you today?
Ok.. nothing interesting

30. What is your favorite candy?
Hmmm.. chocos… yum yum

31. What is your favorite flower?
Roses.. not the blooming type

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
At the moment none.. I will be working

33. What is your full name?
Should I tell??

34. What was the last thing you ate?
Epok2 sadin

35. Do you wish on stars?
Sometimes.. when I think of something..

36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Few colours.. maroon and blue

37. How is the weather right now?
cloudy

38. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My sweetheart

39. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Haha… I wont be replying this

40. Favorite soft drink?
Root beer float.. wow.. miss the A&W float

41. Favorite restaurant?
None at the moment.. It would be an expensive one..

42. Hair color?
Natural..
43. Sibling?
Four younger ones.. mischievious ones

44. Favorite day of the year?
My off days..

45. What was your favorite toy as a child?
No fav toys

46. Summer or winter?
Prefer the weather now..

47. Hugs or kisses?
both??

48. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate la..

49. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Of course

50. When was the last time you cried?
Cant remember

51. What is under your bed?
Paper bag

52. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Longest?? As in no of years??

53. What did you do last night?
Make epok2..

54. Favorite smell?
Mum’s cooking

55.What are you afraid of?
Hmm.. in the dark maybe.. cos cant see anything..

56. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn?
I like sweet ones

57. How many keys on your key ring?
I don carry keys.. actually not physically

58. How many years at your current job?
Haha.. not working yet..

59. Favorite day of the week?
None.. not working currently

60. How many towns have you lived in?
2..

61. Do you make friends easily?
quite

62. What are u going to do now?
Want to have my lunch..

Hello April

2007-04-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

don realise that yesterday is April Fool Day... and actually wanted to play around but then i have forgotten about that.. but some other things went in my mind...wished im smart, wished i could make someone happy.. wished i could do things that im supposed to..wished i came from a well to do family who can provide me with things i need.. but it seems i have to struggle to get wat i wanted and now things got to another way.. which is not wat i wanted in life actually though it was what i wanted later and not now..

felt a little upset as there are many things i've done.. i don wish to get stuck to my bf.. but can i?? i doubt so.. i wished i will do better in my studies so that i could go on to the next level.. but why do i have to wait?? why??? i don have enough cash.. daily life is already a struggle.. wat if me or 1 of my family wanted something more?? i don think me or the rest of my family can aford that.. i wished i had a year or two to at least feel the money that i've earn.. but it seems i have to let that go.. wat can i do?? life is full of mistakes and wasteful.. u cant get everything when u want to get something else.. masa adalah kerugian.. means that as time goes on, we waste alot of things..

im sad that i have to let go of things that i've always wanted.. dreams which i've to get it later when im older.. now is only $$ for the future.. of cos im happy for that but its like struggling for life.. after study, get money for the future.. i have to achieve something to make myself feel better.. well later gg for my 2nd interview.. hoped i do not fall into another crap company.. hoped its the rite company and good environment.. can accept stress but not ppl taking advantage of me.. SG.. is always stressful.. so have to live with it..

Weekend coming!!

2007-03-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

today is friday.. and.. YES!! weekend.. my slipper needs a dustbin.. become like crocodile.. after walking under the rain and there the slipper goes.. in the dustbin.. :...( its one of my fav slipper.. and quite cheap.. less than 20 bucks..

So..... today im going to look for one.. a nice one.. now i have to wear heels to work which i don really like.. painful but nice la.. talking bout heels.. haha i remebered the days i used to walk with heels from morning till night.. and at last, cannot walk.. haha stop by a while and then walk again.. it was from one end of East Coast Park to another end and almost walk to town.. haha.. tiring but enjoyable.. ya with my beloved.. it was a nice day and wanted to end with a movie but then nothing to watch..

Me with my heels, went through drains, puddles, mud and the shoe still survive for the next few months.. i think its another 1 or 2 years.. after that the strap lossen.. so bought a new one and of coz from the same brand..

My first week ends.. next week having another interview.. hope i get through this interview.. k la.. i have lots of things to do now.. update again next time.. :)

Today... Lessons learnt..

2007-03-29T23:10:00.000-07:00

Today.. a normal day.. but on my way to work, i saw an incident.. a couple quarrelling.. well.. maybe giving comments on their lives.. i was there about 15-20 mins.. while waiting for my bus, i overheard them.. the guy was saying that his gf did not even call or msg.. ok.. that reminds me of myself.. one moment between me and him.. then they start to argue.. the guy's blood starts to rise.. the girl just sit and listen but she also argue.. then after a while, their bus came and they went off..

then took my bus.. thinking.. of the past.. wat i have argued and initiated.. remembered the day when i almost broke up.. seeing and thinking of the incident which is in front of me, i felt that im still lucky.. maybe lucky to stick to my beloved.. well as for the couple, though the guy is angry, he almost left the gal and went off but he still sits with her and even board with her.. that reminds me of my bf.. u noe when ur angry, u wont negotiate.. u always want to do ur own way.. but it was diff when there is love.. realised how much ppl who is close to me loves me.. maybe its time for me to do something more for them..

kk.. now i reach work.. start to do my things.. only three days at work and i felt how lucky to live with my family.. while doing my work, i realise how many child came from a broken family.. almost 50% of the profile that i checked.. this one I felt really lucky and have no regrets in wat i've done..

next.. i realise that there is quite a no of families had very low income and have lots of responsibilities.. there is some family earning less than $1000 but have 5 children(for some).. BUT!!! this one very irritating.. i feel like going to the family and ask them to read the terms and condition... they earn more than the one stated in the condition but still received their application.. wat the heck!! some living with step parents(step mother or father).. i felt that this might be diff for the child to get the facts rite.. but thats life.. make me realise how lucky i am.. that is y ppl keep saying that there is always ppl whose life is worse... so be grateful with wat we have.. spend less and save more.. never noe wat will come and when we really in need of money... yup.. got to save more..

till then update more.. thanks to my loved ones.. for everything.. :)

Comp Crashes!!

2007-03-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

Wat the hell!! my comp crashes the moment I was lookin for a job.. since a while.. then all my beautiful pictures are gone! Gone!! Im so sad.. lucky i have already saved it somewhere else.. but the thing is i haven upload in my photobucket!!.. hai.. all my documents are also gone..

Now im working temporary only.. still looking for a suitable job.. suddenly on my way to work, i missed someone.. felt that it have been a long time since i last met him.. 2 person actually.. then all memories came by.. the sweet memories with these 2 person and my other frens.. they have helped me a lot.. can say everytime i need help.. from work to personal stuffs..

It have been nice working in HT.. kinda miss the ppl and the times i worked there.. but thinking back, nah.. staying on with the company, don think im as free as now.. now blogging in my office.. haha curi2..

There's lots of things to do.. upload pics, find job, get my current job done.. lots of documents to do.. but now?? break la.. my lunch break.. looking forward for things to come in my life.. stay home, get tired and make me more lazy.. do things at homw, find jobs and nothing else.. hai.. k la.. will upload some pics.. cant wait to upload those beautiful pics.. its really beautiful..

Love...

2007-03-05T01:25:00.000-08:00

Before going to the topic, some pics of Bali...

food in airplane back

There are many definitions.. but wat is love actually????

Love from husband to wife, sister to younger sister, grandmother to grandson, mother-in-law to daughter-in-law, boyfriend to girlfriend.. there are many kind of love

well.. all i see is hatred... violence... not give and take... where is all the love?? especially married couples.. why after all the years u live together, all the hard work u try to win the woman's heart, u give violence to show u love her?? or vice versa.. why????????? be bf and gf for so long but cannot give in a little bit when married.. i wonder why... wonder if u give in a little bit will drop ur value.. sometimes the matter is really small but make it like a crater.. i don really understand..

the funny part is when person A did wat person B did to person A, person B get angry while person A keep telling wat she/he wants from person B.. then when person A tell wat she/he thinks, person A get beaten and slapped.. its a pity that this things happen.. wonder wat person A should do..

i don understand wat is in the mind of these ppl who solve problems using violence... personally, i think that there is a solution to every probs.. if u noe there is a prob, slove it quickly but not or it will become like a CRATER(thinking of the volcano in Bali)!!! haha.. :(( but of cos not violence..

the other person is not so cruel as not to listen to wat u want to say and that the other person noe that there is a prob.. sometimes have to give in but if u always take, the other person will get tired of giving in...

haha.. this is a place for me to rant all my feelings and tots.. and it really do..

Back from my Trip to Bali

2007-03-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

Im Back!!!

Yeah!!

Im very happy.. Bali...

Its a beautiful place.. Good place to relax.. the view.. WOW!!! Something which is expected.. the lake, tanah lot, mountains, volcano and the culture.. really beautiful.. especially at the lake.. the air there is very refreshing.. the view were extremely beautiful.. haha.. did enjoy my days there..

Cant wait to upload the pics to show the beautiful views and places.. some other days will upload the pics..

Few days B4 my trip

2007-02-22T08:50:00.001-08:00

Haha.. its really time to go for holiday.. but i think its too long.. wait for wat i have to get.. the competition that i've won.. a trip to Bali which is supposed to be at the beginning of Feb.. and now?? end of Feb already.. hai.. but still i get it.. gonna enjoy.. btw, its on the 25th.. evening.. and come back on the last day of Feb.. wat to do.. i told my ex-colleague that i don want it b4 Feb and he really give b4 end of Feb.. hai.. a bit heart pain but thats all i can have and do rather than there is no trip.. gonna enjoy myself.. shop, shop and shop.. spa and relax.. but don noe got time to go spa.. cos reach bali at nite.. then the next day got full trip to don noe where(cant remember)..

But most of all i noe i get the ticket to go Bali.. waited for whole month.. Actually this is not the time to go for holiday.. must concentrate in getting a job.. cos almost 1 mth no job.. and of cos $$$$ also almost gone.. must work already.. haha

Long time since I last blog.. well here is where i rant and throw out wat i think and feel.. Just now i went to CP, i met Jacob.. i was very very happy cos its been a long time since i last saw him.. 4 yrs ago..quite long.. he is still the same and he got a gf.. hmm.. then i saw another friend of mine.. she is ok, quite the same.. married already.. cant remember how long already she got married.. but somehow i felt a bit wierd with this friend(not Jacob).. cant really describe wat i feel.. maybe becos of her husband.. i don noe la..

anyway, hmm... time to sleep!! :)
eyes tired already.. haha.. i think i want to change my blog skin..
another day i guess.. tired already
bye!!

LAST DAY AT WORK!! YEAH!!

2007-02-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

Well.. another update..

today, i mean yesterday is my last day in my company..

its my annual leave but still I have to attend the 8 o'clock meeting coz sales is bad and targets are not met..and that the targets are damn a lot and high.. u have to hit ALL the targets(not ONE.. but ALL) that the BIG BOSS(director of the company)set the day before.. even if u only hit one of the targets, still have to go for BIG BREAKFAST(8 o'clock thingy)..

and like usual im late and I was shock to see that the room is full.. there is a lot of shop in-charge came back.. everybody looked tensed...

took a chair and sat.. then my boss scolding(I thought at 1st) but instead she was telling wat she really felt when she talks to the BIG BOSS.. she said that she wants to somehow f**k the big boss but then again he is the BIG BOSS.. so the BIG BOSS was telling her that the ppl working in the office will get the pay on time but the ppl on the shop floor selling his things will get the pay later..

mean while, in my heart i was cursing that idiot.. my heart was boiling and i think so were the rest in the room..

back again.. she told us that she felt that it was not fair for us coz WE are the ones who bring in the money and we get our pay later.. which is very true.. but then the BIG BOSS said that WE, the selling floor ppl, cant sell a shit!! In my heart.. WAT the HELL!! my boss was telling all of us that no money is the BIG BOSS problem and that he still have to pay.. but then again he is the BIG BOSS.. hai yoh.. that is the difficult part..

it was lucky for me that yesterday was my last day.. in the last meeting, the BIG BOSS said that he will start the BIG BREAKFAST again.. it was bloody teribble.. good luck to u guys who is still around working there.. to tell u guys out there.. it was very tiring.. those who left the company knows that it was a mental, physical and emotional torture.. we all call that as National Service.. haha..

then after everything is over, i went to say thank you to my bosses.. felt a bit sad coz they have been helping me quite a lot though they have lots of other things to do.. but too bad.. i have to let it go coz i cant take any of those craps anymore..

i still remember that in the meeting we get scolded for documentation, merchandise, staff resignation and many more.. I think that we as a leader sometimes deserve a rest.. which is wat im doing rite now.. surfing internet and doing other things which need more attention..

Life is great!! Feels like a bird... :)

Its late.. gonna surf and update myself.. hehe..

sleep?? i guess i got the whole damn day to sleep!! :)

bye.. update next time..

Good Days Are Coming

2007-01-25T02:10:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!!!

Best days are coming and worst days are almost gone.. cant wait.. few more days and im out of the f***ed up company.. life is meaningless if i continue.. haha.. however i have won a ticket to Bali.. WON!! wat a nice gift after quiting this company.. had interview tmrw and a b'day chalet..

WOW!! IM SO HAPI!! also realise that its almost a year since i update my blog.. that is very long.. well.. 9 months.. all hell.. really need a rest and catch up everything i have lost.. i realise i almost lost a lot of things.. almost broke up with my bf due to his selfishness.. and also me(no time- he off, i work.. i off, he work.. so difficult) thought of continuing cos pay quite high.. but then my life is important.. not the company.. i did not get much benefit after working real hard..

had a lot of experiences.. how is it like to handle a shop.. there is diff kind of shop.. shops with high sales, medium ones and the shops with lousy sales.. it was easy to handle the lousy shops but have to worry about sales.. as for the shops with high sales, have to keep it tidy.. or else have shop review.. hai yoh.. thats when all the stress will come..

had scoldings which is normal but ppl called blood sucking company.. there was once have to extend hours and have to go office the next morning which is at 8 am.. really don have enough sleep.. then we, the ppl who get the sales, did not get anything except scolding and lot of mental and physical torture.. hai.. then heard that the office ppl who only do documents, had voucher on their b'days... felt like it totally not fair.. but learnt a lot.. especially emotions.. have to be patient and more smart in doing things.. so far, i have escape la.. surviving till now..

haha.. really cant wait for time to pass by.. really have lots of things to say.. maybe some other time will update..

Good nite peeps.. gonna ZzzzZzz...

Pics of me...

2006-03-10T15:55:00.000-08:00

Had some pics uploaded.. nothing much.. gonna miss my colleagues and those i've been working with.. been busy these few days.. had things to do..

This is the one on the day I participate in the Lime game...

cannot see the below part.. its curly
I realise that it is straight but a bit frizzy..

this is my hair after I have straightened
the first day...

I did not take a pic of my back after the first day... it was really straight.. i like it

this one.. i just took
the front

my back view

still neater and not so curly... like maggie mee.. haha

I realise that it starts to get curly.. hope it can last long... been taking care of it so that it is straight..

Wat a long time

2006-03-07T15:15:00.000-08:00

it have been a month since i update my blog.. just realise it when my fren asked me why i never update my blog.. i thought it was just a few weeks ago and it was 4 weeks ago.. k.. had lots of ups and down these few days.. my feelings too.. was starting to find some jobs cause my attachment period is going to end.. tried to apply there and here but no response yet.. have to be patient and hope for the best.. good for shan she got a few response.. get to go for interview and so on.. her effort la.. happy for her but she is still considering.. as for me.. i still keep applying..

Just watch a movie last week.. watch Underworld Revolution.. It was a really great movie.. when it started, there was a lot of fighting and killing.. very violent at the beginning.. but the story line was ok but i like the way they fight.. the vampire and all the sorts.. wonder if i should watch The Fog and Constant Garderner.. upcoming is Pirates and The Carribbean.. missed the first part.. wonder if i understand the 2nd part.. k..

These few weeks(4 weeks = a month), i was busy and lazy to update my blog.. busy with stuff that my supervisor gave me.. it was fun coz i get to know more people and the best part is they remembered me..haha.. they have to remember me cos i will have to go there every morning... so thats why they have to remember me.. the room was restricted to authorised people only..

some updates... i bought a new phone which can mms.. my 7250i cant mms.. don noe why.. just had my hair cut and straightened.. looks better and neater.. i like it.. though i went for straightening, it still curls especially in front.. but not too nuch curls.. so its still better.. my bf said i look like ah lian.. haha.. he was joking.. but he said nice and a bit weird.. i think so its weird cos nobody have seen my with a straight hair.. haha...

i think thats all for today.. can type so much.. kind of tired already..

oh yah.. gonna miss my frens.. ending attachment soon...

I touched a keyboard

2006-02-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

Today is the day i touched a keyboard after a long time.. I watched I Not Stupid Too on monday. It was a very good story which is happenning around us... This is wat i think about the story..

a family have a misunderstanding and they always like to blame others... they have forgotten to look on the positive side of one another... the children were blind to see the sacrifices made by their parents while the parents always think that their children are rotten and always wrong... and these assumption are bad as it might lead to another misunderstanding and make matters worse instead of making things better... It was a sad story as they love each other but never show it and think that scolding makes one better and that it shows that they love each other...

somehow i think that the show relates to the truth and why teenagers behave in such a way that adults cannot control.. but when something bad really happens, it was too late and that is when u noe how much that person loves u... i guess we should be gentle but give a very good advise that it will stick in the brain forever.. i think the movie is really great and should watch...

generation have changed and we have to change a method in teaching and i realise that even my younger sister is bold enough to speak and point adults mistake.. i still remember that i will be scolded if i were to speak up.. haha... the world have really change...

A joke and that SOMEBODY believe!!

2006-01-27T15:12:00.000-08:00

Hahahahaahhaha!!! I had a good laugh today..... somebody actually believe the joke... i was boring and it was after lunch... so this fren of mine msn me... he ask me to tell him if the team supervisor (who was the 'boss' in the room) came back from lunch already... so i said ok.. then a while later, i decided to play a prank on him... he was in the other room... with shan... surfing net and stuff...

so i suddenly msn him say in a very urgent and in CAPS... i said that our supervisor(not the team supervisor) is here and is finding him... i told him that the supervisor wants to meet him... then i wait a while... i ask shan through msn if he is there... then she say that he is gone... i cant help laughing when he really came... when he came in, he smiled knowing that it was a joke... look a bit shock for a while... but smile later... then he said that he really thought that our supervisor is finding him but ACTUALLY..... my supervisor is ON LEAVE!!! and some more he knows about that.... i cant help laughing... that is very funny... i don expect him to believe me... HAHAahahahah!!!!! cant reveal his name... he might be angry with me.... hope he is not angry with me joking with him... hahahaha... this is really funny... i really don expect this to happen... sorry my fren... was just bored... this really fills up my time... i guess i will be smiling the whole day...

***I think ppl around me might be thinking that im crazy... laughing all the way.... they are busy with their own work and i was laughing... hahaha(laugh again)...but its so funny...***

Fren... Best Fren... Are they one???

2006-01-26T14:06:00.000-08:00

Getting my pay tmrw... hope i can get it asap.. want to buy lots of things... especially a new shoe.. an my mp3... the thing i want... hmm.. now nothing to do yet...

i have a question in my mind.. wonder what does a 'fren' and a 'best fren' means? what makes a good fren and how does one person qualify to be a best fren? why does a fren come and go as life goes on? is it because of individual? is it because they are not suitable? but why must a best fren stab from the back? i thought a best fren should not do that.... but that do happen.. i guess those who had a best fren before who got backstabbed would nod thier heads... some who have a fren or a best fren till now, thats good.. im happy for those people... hmm... think i cant get the answer now.. maybe in years to come.. or maybe tmrw... i think i have to stop thinking of this...

k.. life... my life... never get worse or better.. it have always been the same.. some bad memories, some are just like that and some are very sweet.. some brings a lesson to me.. just by openning my eyes... hmm.. now... waiting for things to happen smoothly... what will my future will be... and everything...

i think, i think too much.. but one have to think.. especially what u want for urself.. *thinking again* i think im just too bored... thats why today i've been thinking a lot...

if i continue to blog, i think this will never end... so till here i have to stop... what will i be thinking tmrw??? haha...

Tag is up!!

2006-01-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone... tag is up!! so all of u can leave wateva u want to say or any msg for me!!

Had a good weekend.. bought books for my tutee and stuffs... and hang out with my dear ones... went to watch a long weekend at cineleisure.. it was a funny story but kind of sensored a bit.. hmm.. no i think a lot.. but that was part of the story.. it was about a guy who had dump his girlfriend but it was not his fault at all.. he had a brother who likes to flirt around.. so he waited for his ex girlfriend to come back to him... but then... she got married and that is when he get frustrated and wanted to do something to ease himself...

I guess i cant tell all the whole story.. can only tell the gist of it... yah.. before going for the movie, i went to watch a concert that was held nearby.. it was Jam X... i went to watch with my switheart.. then there was a game before the next performance... the host was asking for vollunteer and suddenly he called for me... then i turn to look at him... and guess wat?? he was pointing at me when the host was asking for vollunteer.. tried to run away but i cant.. the host still say " the girl in black shirt DRINKING COKE"... "oh my god" i said... that is ridiculous... everyone around me was looking at me.. have to go up no matter what.. so i went up.. then another two vollunteer was called.. another girl whose name is sarah from my poly and a guy..

so this is the game... each person have to write LIME with their butts... i wished that there is another game but no choice have to do it since im up there... so...i did it with sarah.. i guess she was one year senior.. haiyoh.. in my heart i was cursing my boyfriend.. everyone got a goodie bag.. but the winner get another one... so the audience will have to decide who wins.. that is to clap the loudest.. then sarah told me to clap for the guy and dont clap for ourselves.. but i clap for sarah and the guy.. she must be cursing me.. haha.. sorry sarah.. so i got the goodie bag... with a nice notebook.. thanks to the organisors.. anyway my bf took a pic of me with the LIME bag.. it was a nice experience though i was cursing in my heart..

will put the pic up.. then we went to HMV to listen to some music while waiting for our movie... 30 mins before the movie, we went out of the building to head for our movie but... it was raining heavily... and we had no umbrella.. waited for 10-15 mins for it to drizzle but that did not happen.. so no choice again, both of us ran all the way to cineleisure.. very obviously we were drenched.. then in the movie... everything went ok until in the middle of the movie someone ask for our tix.. i was a bit kan cheong already.. then we realise that our seat was at the other corner... Oh My God!!.. how can this happen... on that day, i was embarrassed a lot of times... haha.. luckily i was not shivering when watching the movie.. so after that, we when home.. nice to spent that day with him though i was embarrased all the way..

Some Lyrics

2006-01-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Nothing to do so i find some lyrics of my fav songs

1) We Belong Together

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby

[Chorus:]
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me'
If you think you're lonely now
'Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

[Chorus]
[Repeat chorus]

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
We belong together

2) Everytime

Come notice me
And take my hand
So why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

(Chorus)
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

(Chorus)

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

Ohhhh

At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

After all...
After all...

3) Almost Here

Did I hear you right.
cause I thought you said
Lets think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You.re almost here
And I know that.s not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Only almost here

More will be up when i'm free!! :p

Lots of whys...

2006-01-18T10:10:00.000-08:00

Before i start my blog on the title above, something happen yesterday.. I have a new line but yesterday night my mother called me saying that my bill is $90++... i was teaching at that moment and i was totally shocked.. the dealer said that it was a promotion and my subscription will be $38.. but it shoot up until $100(round up).. wah!! in my heart, i was screaming like mad.... this cannot happen.. thought that it was the company's fault.. so after my tuition, i walked home cursing and cursing...
Not changing my clothes, my mother immediately talked to me what really happen.. i was relieved that they will look at this matter... that was really not fair la.. how can this happen.. i might have to pay to cancel the line and downgrade to other cheaper plans...

K.. now... i have a lot of questions in my head.. there are a lot of whys... i feel like a fool when things happen.. wonder if i will get the things i wanted... wonder why do bad things always happen.. especially my family... wonder who will stay with me thru thick and thin besides my bf.. don even noe if the current frens will stay.. i have lots of frens but they will remember me only when they have probs... some people even say that i am thier best of frens.. but are they my true frens? i don noe.. maybe i was too quiet.. don noe if people MISS or THINK about me.. like the above situation.. why must that happen to me??? i feel that some people are too much.. they do that for their advantage... i think that those who are good should learn to ditch other people.. should learn to be bad.. but i don noe why.. i have a best fren but she talk a lot of things behind my back.. she even lied to me.. but all that was the past.. but like wat ppl used to say.. wounds in the heart will always have a mark..

My comments are not specifically on a person.. they are all about general.. those who read this, those who don read this and those who know me.. to those who don noe me, think about this... sometimes the person who is always there for u are not invisible.. don think that peoplewho are quiet don have feelings.. they do.. they are also humans with feelings like those who are out spoken or those who are more expressive... for those who knows me, its up to u to think.. i cant control the way u think...

Some interesting video clips

2006-01-17T17:14:00.000-08:00

Ruzaini recommend some video clip.. well we have nothing to do so just watch some clips.. go to the leave icon and find a link named liquid generation and the happy tree frens.. at first i thought this is just cartoon clips but it was something more than that.. it was gross.. i would recommend this to those who don have a weak heart... should see it.. it was rather cute and funny BUT it was absolutely gross..
As for the liquid generation thing, i think some people know about that website but just to recommend to those who have not visited the website.. it was fun as there are games and things which can fool ur frens.. i have not tried it but i've seen some videos.. some make u shock.. but quite fun also... i got this prize when i played reel of fortune so.. click on the link and take a look... haha...

My brain stop working already

2006-01-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

its been a long time i have not update my blog... a lot of things have happen recently.. the bad and the good.. these few days makes me think of wat kind of person i have met and people i love..but don noe wat to rite now.. hmm..

Bratt pit and Angelina jolie(my fav) are getting married!! there are rumours(not sure if that is rumours) that they will be getting married this valentine's day!! wow!! kind of happy for them.. they are like the most suitable couple.. handsome and the sexy and pretty.. that just suits..
wonder wat will their baby looks like.. must be very cute!!

waiting for the next hot news.. haha.. now i have no idea wat to rite.. so will update again..

Back to work... haha IPP now

2005-12-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS to those who celebrate christmas!!

a bit late but i guess its alrite rite??

last week was very fast... my one week hols!! i realise i did not do anything much... went to JB on monday.. it was fun.. had lunch, play pool and watch movie... the chronicles of Narnia and walk around JB.. the movie is great.. i like the way the four siblings fight the witch.. i also like the way the witch fight.. she was cool.. should watch it.. worth ur money.. bought some stuff... then i walk pass some streets... the st look very beautiful but very quiet.. nobody is there and the streets are very dim... thats all.. went to the checkpoint just before 8... coz i have to go home by 10pm...

after that, nothing much..just sit at home and do the appropriate things... today im kind of sleepy coz i sleep late for a few nights.. my siblings don want to go to bed early.. make a lot of noise... today i woke up a bit late.. then i went out of home 10 mins late.. haha.. u guys must think its only 10 mins but actually the TEP will jam at a certain time.. then when i board the bus, some people vomit... and i step on it!! so disgusting... everything was ok..meet huishan and we head for work tgt.. will be going to work with her..

in the morning is a little sian.. got breifing about 9 plus.. then we will have to wait for our someone to fetch us and show our rooms.. me and ruzaini are under the same department.. and we just have to sit and wait for our temp desk.. so i guess thats all for today.. cant blog much...

Last day

2005-12-16T12:55:00.000-08:00

today is the last day in sch... the last time I will see my sch will be the day i take my cert... kinda sad to face this reality... i will miss the days where i play games all the time... watching movies and updating my blog... oh yah... this may be the last time i will blog... cos i doubt i have the time when i serve my industrial attachment... this will be a sad time... i will miss the white board which have the crazy taxi score board... oh yah.. talking about crazy taxi.. i was in the 2nd place when everyone first started... and art is always the first... the winner... but as days went by, im lazy to upgrade my score... so i stop the moment i score with 28 customers... now when i see the score board, im the fifth... so fast rite... hahaha... but im just lazy... i prefer playing puzzle fighter... more exciting... im going to miss these things... now the board is full of christmas wishes and drawings... its kind of beautiful... haha.. but full of nonsense...

im stuck with flu for at least three days.. including today... hope i will be ok as time goes... now there is briefing for my next phase of life... later we will be celebrating... i mean a small farewell party... just having pizza... now i cant blog for at least one week because i don have a computer at home... so at least one week... after that, i don noe if i have a time to blog...

will update when i have the time... signing out....

Everything gets better!

2005-12-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

I think its quite a while since i blog... for the first time in TEP, i did not come to sch... haha... but it was a bad thing for me... i was very sick last friday... early in the morning i vomit... at about 3a.m... that was very early... at first i thought it was nothin.. but then an hour later i vomit again... so...went to see a doctor coz i cant stand the pain in my stomach.. my stomach is growling too much that it really hurts... i cant even sit up straight.. feel like vomitting.. i have to lie in bed to make myself feel better... the doctor said that i have gastric or food poisoning.. but i don noe wat i eat which leads me in this situation.. then went to Mac... my sis and my mother wants breakfast.. so i have to bear with the smell and all that stuff.. quickly take my medicine and lie a while...

then went home... i slept the whole day... woke up just to take medicine... then sleep again... that is how i spend the whole of friday... i sleep until saturday... feeling a bit better but still my stomach hurts... don feel like vomitting.. so i guess getting better.. but still i don eat anything solid.. so i eat friuts which is only a few pieces... i was really on a diet for these two days.. i don feel hungry or something... still sleep and take medicine... i sweat like hell... for that two days... then sunday came... i took the first meal.. which is kind of unhealthy... i eat maggi in the morning... suddenly feel hungry and decide to try to eat some solid food... but then that is only half a packet... then in the afternoon, i start to shiver.... i ate choc and some friuts again... then went out after feeling better...

went to watch The Descent... it was somehow scary to think of it again... especially the ending... should watch.. it was worth it... i cant sleep properly last night... it was the first movie i covered my eyes for a few minutes... there are some violence in the show but shocking too... the beginning was quite boring but need to watch the beginning to know what is going on... those who are weak at heart should not watch la.. it was gross also... the killing and stuff...

then went to have dinner.. at PP.. ate prata but had a few mouthful only.. i said that the smell of the tomato sauce make me feel like puking... so i ate a bit only... then went to play lan game but in the end i din play... it was entirely different... everybody there is like so expert and me?? i am nothing... i tried playing CS but cannot be compared with the one at sch...

now im feeling much much better than the one on friday... but my stomach still hurts.. i think there is wind in my stomach.. haha... that is how i spend my weekend... sick and lots of sleep...

Life is good!!

2005-12-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

sometimes, the above title is rite... this is rite when there is something interesting happening... for now, i have things to do... other than play games like puzzle fighter and crazy taxi... it is CS and warcraft... time passes really fast... i din blog for a few days.. well... playing games...now addictted to both CS and warcraft... have guys to play with.. art who don noe how to play CS also get the disease... haha... even siew chun also get addictted.. now when there is nothing to do, what is in our mind?? CS is the answer... haha... it is fun to chase and kill people.. it is funny when the person hide and we know where they are hiding.. then shoot them without them realising we are at the back.. but it also depends on the map... as for us, the freshies, like the iceworld more than any other place... tried the mansion but not fun.. coz i din even shoot a single person...

yesterday, my frens played CS and me watching fantastic four... then they asked me to join.. it was so tempting that i forward the movie... haha.. keep forwarding... then joe steal that comp after i finished watching the movie... then when he is gone, its warcraft time.... haha.. now i stayed till six just to play that...

so life is good when there is nothing to do...

Hmmmzzz....

2005-12-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

wonder what to blog about.. lotsa thinking.. confused with things... wished that life would stop fer a while and let me think of what is happening around me.. wonder if im happy or sad.. had no idea.. or am i trying to run away from reality??? know what i want in life but don noe if i have already get it or all this is just illusion...

my family have been there all the while.. they have been everything towards me.. what they had gone through is not what people think.. i know very much.. its like we are hiding the feelings from each other.. though we always talk and tell what we feel and think, i have a feeling that we are all hiding things..

im really not sure with things... felt that my life is very fast.. its like im running with no directions cum feeling confused... wonder who is my Mr. right... is he the one?? i don noe... wish i got the answer.. i noe i love him but not sure if i want to live with him... it will be my entire life!! that is what im thinking about mostly.. wonder when i will take all this all real.. as... i don noe... i felt like i have a lots of things to say but cant organise my thoughts...

today i went to sch late.. cos i want to escape from the guy i talk about earlier.. went to a near-by shop to accompany my mother to buy things to cook today.. then after that i went to sch.. looking around me... yah.. scared if that guy is around.. but then no sight of him.. so happy.. haha.. then now in sch like usual... nothing to do.. waiting for afternoon programme... if there is...

Irritated by someone!!

2005-12-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

ok... i will have to start with what happen yesterday...

i watched a movie.. forget the title.. then i played warcraft... i get to built some.. heroes.. haha but din fight much.. conquered some gold mines and help fight some enemies.. still learning... had fun... then continue playing crazy taxi.. a game for the whole of KM life... then in the evening my bf fetched me.. thought he wanted to make up for what happen the previous day but then he just send me home... isn't it irritating??? i suggested to have something to eat but then both of us are broke so he decided to sit somewhere to talk things out... he said sorry and he never mean to say that though it is true sometimes..

he also said he never want to let me go.. he said that out of anger.. thats ok for me.. but just make my love for him gets lower... everything was ok and it makes me feel better cos he fetches me without me asking.. that is ok... cant expect more cos he is too broke...

So here is where i find REALLY IRRITATING!!!!

every morning, i will take 86 to sch.. since i start my attachment at sch, i usually sees this guy.. he is tall and always wears a cap.. i don notice him until he stares at me.. not once but ALWAYS!! and now, he even have that sly smile on his face whenever he sees me... it kind of freak.. scare and make me feel like giving him a punch... everytime i saw him at the bus stop i use to board but now he boards at seletar camp... that is even more irritating... i came out of my house later than i use too but still saw him... today, i was at the rear of the bus.. thinking that i will never see him which makes me happy.. then when the bus stop at seletar camp, i saw him... tried to avoid him seeing me.. BUT he saw me.. that is like shit... he gave that irritating smile again!!! he stood at the front.. then he even tried to face me... that is VERY VERY IRRITATING!!!

luckily he alights one bus stop before i alight... or else i don noe what will happen... BUT when he alights, he stared at me again and give that irritating smile... until the person who sits beside me look at me...he even tries to get closer to me... looks like a foreigner to me... isn't it irritating????? wish i will never see him... tmrw i shall go to sch earlier... hope not to see him....

now in sch still doing nothing...

What do men really want??????

2005-12-01T09:47:00.000-08:00

its so early to start blogging... everybody blogs at night or before bed but me?? in the morning.. at the start of the day...

Yesterday something really bad happen.. i had a so-called huge arguement but then it leads to something shock... he just said something which makes me really confused and want to cry or shout things out loud.... it have gone more than three years and he easily want to let it go... i was just asking a few questions and he suddenly make a sudden decision... i cant mention it but i hope u understand what im talking about... thinking of it really hurts...

after that i realise that woman are somehow like animals... have to please human... i mean the men.. have to follow what people want.. have to give everything.. and for humans, they take everything for granted and think that THAT animals will not protest, or do not have any feelings for what they say and what they are doing..

after all these years, he told me something which really hurts... i tried to make everything up but he just ignore.. who is at fault??????? me or him????????? he is just angry about things which i consider minor and we can always talk about it but he just want to let me go.. how can he be like that???? i think i should be the one to say that i want to let him go... i wish i could but i don noe why i cant... he make me sad a lot of times.. and everytime i try to tell what i don like, he will immediately say "i think im better off with someone else".. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?????? i cant hold it any longer... you have hurt me many times... since the start of our relationship... i fail one module also because of him... i cant get off with things... first u comment on the way i dress.. next u say i should learn from ur ex.. what are u trying to say?? i don have money to buy a thing... but i still buy it using my first pay... that is ridiculous... i buy everything at one go and u just get angry when i told u this.. to think back, ur ex has nothing to do already...

i had enough of this.. i wonder if i should have a dream of getting married to u.. i don even noe if i still love u... i don have the feeling of making u happy anymore.. each time im with u, i try to make u happy but u just ignore.. i don noe why... the time we spend is nothing more than last time... he just simply want to let me go just because of small arguement.. this is not the first time but a few times already.. i don feel any love from him any more.. wonder if this is true... i have no idea that my relationshiop will turn out like this... maybe u have to really let him go... but i don noe how...

sometimes women are also like relationship breaker... men are sometimes stupid... they don even noe what their intention... and women are sometimes stupid as to insult women indirectly.. this is really stupid.. and men.. sometimes those ex who are like bitches want to get u back and by to achieve that, they can do anything to break ur current gf... isn't that ridiculous?????

hai.. sigh... i don noe what earth have.. people who like to backstab??? people who are evil????

i have been spurting out a lot of things.. and i think he give me this concept.. thats why i have been talking rubbish... i am just angry and cant accept with things that happen...

my life is so miserable... no life.. its like full of tragedy... full of saddness... hai... maybe thats life..

dislike what im going through.. wonder till when i have to go through this.. wonder if i should forget everything... wonder if he still love me like before..

i really don noe...

2005-11-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

I have been reading my friends blog and Pat's blog is like all about sad things.. I wonder why.. there is always this face " :( ".. She is never like that.. she is always cheerful especially in sch and everytime.. I don understand her.. But to u Pat, don be like that.. u have been writing alot of sad things which i think is false.. it seems that u have a lot of frens and ur famiily too.. or maybe i don noe much about her.. but if u need anything ur frens and me will always be there..

To think back sometimes u are lucky enough.. at least u have frens who care for u.. but if it was me, i wonder if there is anyone who cares for me... for now only a few people... which is like only one or two?.. i don noe why.. people say i look arrogant.. do i look like one??? can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?? i do have frens but it seems like none cares for me..

So, i think i lead a sad life... haha.. maybe...

I think im lucky enough

2005-11-25T15:42:00.000-08:00

Well everyone has lots of desire.. but i think i had just what i want..

I have a family who loves me, frens and my lover who is also there when i need him.. Recently i accidentally broke something.. Then he tried to repair it but then nothing better... and it make everything worse..

So last two days i went to give him some money and so i have to meet him when he is working.. i was shocked to see him.. he is really unusual on that day.. while i was walking towards his office, he came out.. i was thinking that the guy who came out looks handsome from far but i just ignore thinking that he will be late... so i continue walking until that guy approach me.. i was a bit shock.. coz the handsome guy i saw doesn't come in mind that it was him!!

I covered my mouth which open very wide... I could not say anything to him.. i just pass him the money and go off.. a bit shy to see him... i don noe why... After three years with him, that is the first day that really makes me melt .. that makes me speechless.. makes me smile my whole journey.. but only for a day... haha..

but still im happy to be with him despite he is not that good looking like i sometimes dream of.. haha... We quarrelled almost everytime but then clear things up on the spot.. with things i go through with him make me love him more...

Next time will blog bout my family... they are another lovely and precious people to me..

My all-time favs

2005-11-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

I have just uploaded my photos.. did it since morning.. watched The Maid.. thought it was supossed to be scared but it turn out not to be so scared.. i think The Eye is much better...

This is my favourite.. will try to watch every movie he acted...

Shah Rukh Khan

Just watched Veer-Zaara yesterday... It was ok.. but will be waitin for next week cos there is two parts.. yesterday was how veer meet zaara.. nothing much but will look forward to it next week..

Next is the Miss World 1994.....

Aishwarya Rai

I just like her looks.. She is beautiful!! but sadly she only like to act in sad, romantic stories.. should act different characters...

Next is a cute woman just like me ;)...

Juhi Chawla

Like her very much.. She is a sweet-looking woman... and i like the necklace in the pic.. it is very unique...

Another sexy woman...

Angelina Jolie

Yah... fall in love with her when i watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith though i have watched quite a few movies before that.. like Alexander the Great... like that movie cos there is a lot of meanings and the part where John and Jane was fighting in their house.. haha.. I guess u remember that..

This are the four favs of mine...

Another day in KM

2005-11-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

Today nothing much.. watched Lord of The Rings part 1 and part 2.. so disappointed could not find the last part which is the most interesting of all... After that, i watched the Series of Unfortunate Events by Jim Carey... It was quite interesting but not up to what i hear from others...

I will be watching The Maid maybe later... Now im hearing the cds that i ask my fren to burn for me... He is so nice... My frens are all busy with projects and so i ask this fren of mine to help me.. he got 3 cds for me... Thanks pal!!!

Just now the supervisor came and we showed him the work that we had done.. he said he have to present.. wondered why he must present.. but i think its none of my business.. rite??

Something happen yesterday.. a girl from KM also but biz stud came to our room and said that we are asked to go to the admin room.. Zaedah ask why and the girl said she is not sure... den she got a bit tense.. i had a lot of thoughts but nothing worse.. I was thinking that maybe we are supposed to sign in there from yesterday onwards but when we reached the admin room, the admin staff wanted our size for our TEP t-shirt.. everyone start to laugh...

After that, we went back to our room but something went in my mind.. I wonder if i have to pay for that shirt.. If i have to pay, that needs money and i don have much.. want to ask my parents but i couls not.. they themselves need money to carry on with our daily lives...

I work as a tutor but that is nothing much.. thought i could buy what i desire all this while but it seems to be out of my thoughts.. i should not have think of that.. i want an mp3 with fm radio but the cheapest is what i took a long time to save.. and when i have save enough to buy that, some problems come out and usually it needs money.. There are some things i desire but i think what i have is what i ought to have...

Today, i came to sch late... reach sch almost 10am.. woke up aroung 8.45am... im 15mins late and thought of not coming to sch.. but then my mum starts her nagging... so i get dressed as quickly as possible.. so here i am in sch blogging and doing other stuff which is not neccessary... hahaha...

Same old day in sch

2005-11-22T09:20:00.000-08:00

So early to blog.. nothing much in sch... so what to do.. blog la.. this is what i do yesterday

Yesterday nothing much... same old day... slack and play alot of games.. slept in the afternoon.. thought of going to have a jog but then nobody wants to.. xue, ai ling busy and chun wentto meet candise... so me alone... then i have flu.. the whole damn day... watch hitch again with eric and joe... then everyone head for home and left me and eric.. then meet my dear frens and we go home...

Had dinner at LJS with my family... then played badminton with my sis but never sweat... hai.. it was windy yesterday so we never played much... then we went to the sculpture park at sengkang which is about 10 mins walk.. then we just walk around as there is nothing much...

yup.. then head home at 10pm.. so bored... thats all i did yesterday... and today, i was shock to see chun alone... thought will be only left me and chun but then there is another two... so have to bear with this boredness... another boring day....

Start of Week Two in KM

2005-11-20T17:54:00.000-08:00

Juz started KM and in three weeks time I will end my TEP. Glancing back, i realise that KM is very slack.. I watched about 7 movies last week and played games until sian... we had meetings but only took about 2 hours in that week... during luch, we can take about two hours... and still our supervisor did not check... on wed siew chun is not here... she was called by ARDC supervisor to amend some things... so i was so called alone here as the rest know each other quite well.. but then i watched movies with them and it was great..

As far as I can remember, I watched The Incredibles, The Polar Express, Mr. and Mrs Smith twice, wedding crushers, four brothers and hitch... Games... i played crazy taxi, learn how to play CS ( very poor) i shot the wrong person... played puzzle fighter again... and i lose again and again.. so bored..

Met my sweetheart four times straight... and a lot of things happen.. On thurs I thought of buying food for my class bbq but they said i don need to buy any so i went to meet him at bedok.. thought of playing pool but i was too late for that.. As far as i remember, i never had breakfast with him and on fri I had one.. so happy.. he also send me to sch... then on sat he accompanied me to bbq.. Im so happy that i got to meet my frens and him also... but sadly i have to leave earlier.. he have some function to attend... i think i left the earliest... After we went to the function, we met his fren and played games.. AGAIN!! Then on sun, he asked my help to clean his van... cleaned until about 7pm... from 4.30pm... At about 8pm, we played LAN game.. it was very fun... but im still learning...

After all that, im worn out.. a bit pissed off with some ppl also but i think i don have to mention it.. i just think of something... frens are sometimes fucked up... i feel that frens can be a bastard even if u do something great for them... they will be with u when they have no one else but will dump u and might totally forget u when they are happy...

For my frens, i may not have done anything great for u ppl but i don want to be a tree or a statue where ppl walk past and never notice it.. As far as i have lived, i don have any frens who will be there for me.. i have one but he also disappeared just like that... i miss him but i know he is heart broken.. im sorry for that as i cant help it...

To my sweetheart, im sorry for the radio... i knocked on it and it did not work.. even the lights... i really din mean it...

Signin off....... me.. sweetie

Been busy lately!!

2005-11-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah!!! Im changing stopover next week. Graduating soon. Have to do a presentation tmrw. Im doing about blogging. Its a Community Learning(CL in short). Now im taking a break. So tired of cracking my brain to have good words in my report. Have to hand in today i think.

Enough of things in sch. On monday i was very upset... a bit dissappointed with my bf... cos i went to his house for raya on sunday and something happen... was really upset over things acted by him.. my heart was always crying on that day especially when im alone or bored.. when doing nothing... but getting over it as days goes on... to u switheart.. i noe u have the every rite to do that but please remember me.. i may say sarcastic words to u but that was all the feelings at that moment.. though that was a small matter to u, it means a lot to me.. cos i love u so much and no one can steal u away.. but if u want to go away from me, i have to let u go...

To that girl who try to steal my switheart away, please think it over... i will not do anything to u unless u go beyond the line... there is always limit to patience... i will blow out everything (like the lava coming out of the volcano) until im on top of ur head and u under the ground... that is my promise... if that does not work, i will leave it to Allah s.w.t. Kau mesti dapat balasan yang setimpal....

On tuesday, we had pizza for lunch but i went for jogging before that. My luck was not with me on that day. When we cant finish the pizza, we plan to play the no. game. I kena the first one. Have to eat wedges and a packet of chilli. It was very hot at first.. but after i had another bite of the wedges, it went off.. haha.. then the game continued as there is another three slices to finish... Paul kena first and then xuehui... then it was me again... haiyah.. and some more i got the largest piece la... that is even worse... i exercise earlier and now its back.. *sigh... xuehui happily chose a smaller piece for herself...

Yesterday at last i got to eat my fishball noodles!!! i was craving for that... yah.. since last month la but cannot eat last month cos fasting mah... went to eat with hui shan and stracy... in the evening, i was caught of wearing sandals.... then have to buy a shoe which cover the toes... so sian.. i don have much money and still have to buy another pair...

So... at night when i have reached home, i went to compasspoint to buy a pair.. then i met sheena.. my fren whom i always work with throughout my poly years.... she work in metro at cosmetics section... then i browse at the shoe section to look for a pair.. have a few but the cheap one not nice and uncomfortable.. so bought the 40 bucks shoe.. fork out my hong bao money and the rest paid by my mother.. so swit of her.. my mum was also broke cos raya.. have to give hong bao to small kids also..

Today, im chatting with my cousin.. thinking about her, im just feeling angry and sad at the same time.. it was all about the past.. i realise that everybody try to step on my family members head which is not fair.. i will have to do something to those who try to do that.. haha

Oh yah! i went to play pool on tues with art, paul, rena and wei hao if im correct about spelling his name.. i almost won one game but did not.. went home around 7.30pm... poor rena have to carry art's and my bag to grassroots.. thanks!!

I think that is all i did for this week... lots of feeling i have to go through this week.. i can draw a graph of how i feel for this week... Haha..

Feeling so sick today

2005-10-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

At 12 pm im fully awake... slept from morning till 12... i had flu and took flu medicine during my breakfast. Now i start to burn the fuel... everybody else have been doing their work and me sleeping.. but actually there is no work... my frens are doing yesterday's work.. and i have already finish it yesterday itself..

Hmm.. thinking of what to write...

This is my third entry.. i just had my first blog... im so free and thats why i have decided to have a blog of my own.. but there are so many things i figured how to change.. my profiles just don come out.. and also the tag board.. i tried changing but nothing comes out... hai.. i can just display what i wrote..

Hari Raya is coming.. and im in sch for attachment.. so sian.. at sch not much to do and if there is no sch also boring.. don noe who to go out with during raya.. i have little frens u noe.. have not made much preparation.. i just bought new kebaya for raya and i think i will be wearing it for 2 days or so.. so wasted rite.. waste money but i think im going to wear it again next year..

I just remembered something.. will be having bbq with my classmates.. next month.. so happy.. i will be meeting my frens after a long time in sch.. yah.. we are not united when we are attached to different company and some in sch... but we still update each other through msn...

Will be in this room for another 2 weeks but im sort of get use to the environment here and with sbm students.. we have been playing puzzle fighter if im correct.. it was very fun.. and we always get anxious went people come in without knocking the door.. cos we are not suppose to play any games.. last two days i was the champion and everybody lose... but i do lose a few..

Think im going to play again after blogging.. haha.. my friends will be going for lunch and i will play..

k.. i think thats all for today..

Life in TEP

2005-10-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

We have only 2 stopovers compared to the biz students. The first stopover is only 6 weeks and the 2nd stopover is only 5 weeks. Great rite. Yeah.

My first stopover is in ARDC. I was involved in a project which is towards the end. We are so lucky that we dont have to key in the results in the surveys. Cos the surveys is about 2400. But we have to do some analysis work about the results.

The first 2 weeks is damn damn bored. Nothing much to do. The 6 of us just sit in front of the comp, surf the net and chat in msn. But the first week we have to do some info-sourcing about a given title. That only last for five days and the rest of the next five working days is boring. Still sit in front of the comp.

The third week is the start for us to take over the project. But still we have nothing much to do. We are taught about crosstabbing and exporting to excel and word document. It was rather interesting but not after a few times of doing it. Now is our 4th week and 2 more weeks, we will be going gor our next stopover. But a bit sad cos me and my classmates will be separated. So sad. Me and chun will be together in KM.

In that whole week, we bought a lot of tidbits but bad for me i cant enjoy those things with them cos its fasting month. Sigh. But they had a lot of fun sia. Im quite jealous. But happy to get to work with them.

DAMN!!! I have work to do.... will continue blogging later!

BORED!!!!

2005-10-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

Today my friends and me dont have any new task to do.